Priorities? Anyone?

Interesting thing about America. At dinner last night, we talked about how Europeans generally have 5-6 weeks of vacation a year and most only work 30-hour weeks or so. So, they're not the dominant super-power on earth, who cares? They still live well.

The US feels the need to be better than everyone else - it's become part of our identity and culture, so every company feels the need to be better than everyone else, too. Our priorities are totally off-base, in my opinion. Employers value their bottom lines more than they value their PEOPLE. They push people to work long hours and limit vacation and other benefits. They ask - no, REQUIRE - employees to accomplish amazing feats with inadequate resources. Even companies that want to be people-focused have to demand a lot of their people just to stay in the game.

And our children are watching and learning.

I'm THIRTY!

It's taken me six months to get used to the idea, but I am finally ready to be 30. I'm not ready to be 35 or 40, but I don't have to be.

It was a very nice birthday. Eric took the whole day off - both day and night shifts - to spend with me. He took me to breakfast at IHOP. Lots of friends and family called, which made me feel loved, and that's what birthdays are for, right?

In the evening, we went to a wine dinner with my parents at The Bent Noodle. The wines were all from Tuscany. The meal was excellent, as were some of the wines.

The sudden heavy snowfall was a nice touch, too. :-)

I love my birthday. :-) It's a feel-good day.

Peaks and Valleys

Eric and I seem to be at a peak in the cycle of our marriage, which is absolutely shocking given that he is working an odd combination of days and nights and is therefore sleeping very little. Sadly, I know that this peak will not last indefinitely. I always chant to myself, "this, too, shall pass" when things are going badly, but I think it is worth remembering when things are going well, too; then when the natural cycle in our marriage pulls us down into another valley, maybe we won't think of it as a crisis, but instead as just an inevitable bump in the road that truly will move on again to make way for another peak.

Uh, I was breathing that?

You may remember that one of my Christmas presents from Eric was an ionic air purifier. It has been useful. It eliminates the litter box odors even when the kitties forget to cover up, and my students who are allergic to cats notice significant differences in their allergic reactions when I use it in the studio just before their lessons.

Eric gave it to me a little before Christmas, so we've had it about a month now. Last night, we cleaned the filter for the first time - ran it under water in the sink like the instructions said. It's hard to describe... for at least two minutes (maybe more), clear water went in one side and absolutely opaque, dark as night, black water came out the other side. I looked at all that crud and realized that the purifier had pulled all of that out of the air I was breathing! Wicked! And that was only a month's worth!

Update on the Met auditions

I almost forgot to tell you how the audition went. It went okay. Multiple people, including my teacher, said it is the best I have ever sung in an opera competition. I felt I sang a solid performance, but I felt I must have looked terrified. I was sure everyone could see my knees shaking. My teacher concurred - I looked like I wanted to be anywhere but on that stage. But it was still my personal best for that environment, so I am glad I did it. That being said, however, I don't see much point in doing it again. Yes, I will be too old for the Met auditions next year, but the DLOG competition uses the same stage, and I think I will forgo that from now on, too. There is nothing more for me to gain from the experience. I am not a competitive singer. After all, a competition is not very different from a studio recital - you come on, you sing your song, and you leave - but I perform quite well in recitals and not so well in competition. Recitals are the reality of performing, so if I had to choose, I would take being better at recitals; competitions are contrived. In competitions, we go to win, but in recitals, we go to entertain, and that is what art is really about: entertainment and the sheer joy of doing it.

How does this happen?

So, my first semester at UNC, I discovered that being in school threw my life out of balance - there was no time for family, friends, church activities, performing, etc. So, I took fewer credits my second semester, but somehow found myself even busier. My third/last semester at UNC I knew would be crazy, but I pushed through it so I could be done in December and get back to the rest of my life.

When I graduated a month ago, I thought I was looking forward to a more reasonable lifestyle again, but so far that has been a joke. That's not to say I'm not enjoying myself, but I am swamped. Email is coming in faster than I can reply to it. I finally got 83 auditions packets ready to mail to my NATS colleagues tomorrow - that was a lot of work! (But again, it's fun.) And things are starting to pour in for the Loveland Opera Theatre program. And my studio recital is 2 1/2 weeks away, so the final planning is in the works there - finalizing the program, getting the music to the accompanist, and scheduling a dress rehearsal. This week, I have been running from one thing to the next from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until my head hits the pillow sometime the next morning. It's unreal. My birthday will be here before I know it, and I won't be ready!

Those close to me keep asking what I want for my birthday. It's a big birthday, after all. But it's right after Christmas and graduation - what else could I possibly want that I haven't received already? And yet, I hate to waste such an opportunity ;-) - when will I be this "special" again?

Anyhow, I thought I should blog so you all know why I am so slow in replying to your emails....! I'm still trying to catch my breath!

It goes both ways

So, I just finished watching the Bucks get anhililated in the BCS championship for the 2nd year in a row. About halfway through, I remarked to a friend that I am a lot like the Buckeyes' football team: I generally perform really well, except in competition (that is, under pressure). He said, I thought you were going to say the Bucks looked like a bunch of opera singers trying to play football. He has a point.

What I need

I'm getting ready for my last run at the Met competition next Friday. I know I'm not Met material, but I'd like to advance out of the prelims for once. Unfortunately, as much as I might shine on stage in a show, I am not very good at competition. Beyond that, as a singer, I am fully aware that my own insecurities are holding me back more than anything else right now.

As much as I know the judge (last year) who said it was way out of line [if I had known the woman was opera's Simon Cowell, I wouldn't have bothered waiting around for her comments!], I can't shake her accusation that my performance that day was an embarrassment to my education. Except she didn't see it (or say it) as "my performance that day" - she saw it as "me" or "my abilities." My intellect tells me that her comment was based on one of my worst performances and therefore it doesn't really matter, but Satan keeps repeating it to me and it tortures me.

This week, I remembered that the best time in my life as a singer was probably my last year and a half at IU when I studied with Klara Barlow. The woman never succeeded in remembering my name, but she built up the diva in me -- the one my two previous IU teachers had nearly crushed to bits. The confidence she encouraged in me set my voice free and corrected a whole mess of technical problems without her ever having to address them directly.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me I'm awesome just so I feel good - I still need the constructive criticism that is part of taking lessons, but I need more than just technical mentorship.

Happy Holidays!

We had a nice Christmas with our families. Eric gave me an ionic air purifier, which is considerably reducing the dust and odor surrounding the litter box in the guest room. In fact, when that thing is on, you'd never know there was a litter box there! It's very effective.

He also gave me a digital picture frame, which I absolutely love. Because the pictures are made with light, they are so much more vibrant than paper photos, and I don't have to limit myself to just one photo in the frame -- I get to see a slideshow! I've loaded pictures of all of my favorite memories from the last few years so it brings me great joy to watch them appear on the screen.

He also gave me one of those page-a-day calendars -- it's an origami collection. Every page provides instructions for making some origami piece with the paper from the day before. Today I made a fox. Later in the week I will make a dog... I will make the dog's head on Thursday and the rest of his body on Friday and then put it together. It's neat! Now, what am I going to do with 300-some origami creations?

One of my students gave me a piano Christmas tree ornament. I was stunned to realize that I had never had a piano ornament. I've played the piano for 27 years and I teach piano, but I have never had a piano ornament on my tree! How weird is that?

Our two-year-old niece gave us two interesting gifts. First, she learned to say my name, and I got to hear her say it for the first time on Christmas day. (She had already figured out Eric's. My name is tricky because of the Ls I guess.) She also gave us a box of kleenex -- the box was decorated with pictures of her and pictures of us with her. Her mom special-ordered it through MyKleenex.com. If you're a picture person or need a gift for one, this is a clever idea.

Last night, Eric and I watched movies together until close to midnight and then rang in the new year together. This is what we did our first New Year's together, too. It's a nice way to spend the holiday. This morning I made breakfast for him and we are watching football games.

Happy New Year!