It did not go well

LOT audition for Elixir.... was today...

2 weeks ago, I fully expected that I would make callbacks.
1 week ago, I started to doubt.
Yesterday, I decided I'd have to be lucky to make callbacks.
Today, I knew they'd have to be deaf to call me back.

It did not go well. By some standards, it didn't go horribly, but in my book, it really did not go well. I didn't need to make callbacks, I just needed to give a performance I could be proud of - one that would reflect my decades of training and weeks of preparation. But I didn't. The good news is that it's behind me now, so I can go on with my life and start rehearsing something other than the audition music I've been hammering for the last three weeks. I'm frustrated, though. Unfortunately, times like this take a huge chunk out of my self-esteem, no matter how supportive my friends or the directors (also friends!) are.

I do take some comfort in my husband's love, though. He was so affirming today (my love language!), and while it didn't make me feel tons better about myself, it did make me feel incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and loving partner in life. If I had to choose between the career or the husband, I'd choose the husband any day.