Question of the Season
I am so stressed out, and I really can't remember the last time I felt this overwhelmed. So, is my life really that much more stressful, or is this merely confirmation that Welbutrin doesn't manage anxiety as well as Paxil does? I'm just usually more even-keel than I've been lately. The good news is that I think there's some spiritual growth going on. The feeling that I can't balance life on my own has forced me to rely more on God, and He has not let me down.
posted by DenverSop @ 9:58 PM
11 Comments:
At 8/22/2006 10:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Could your anxiety have anything to do with the reunion coming up this weekend? I know it's been weighing pretty heavily on me this summer...
At 8/22/2006 11:04 PM,
DenverSop said…
No, I'm pretty sure the reunion is among the least of my worries.
It has a lot to do with my mom's crisis, Eric's crisis, teaching and working a lot at Parade of Homes so I don't have time for things like studying for advisory exams, creating the program for the upcoming LOT Gala, practicing for the quickly approaching LOT performance and practicing for this weekend's performance class. Never mind keeping up with the household chores and the two home projects Eric wanted me to finish before school starts that I'll be lucky to finish by the end of the year.
On paper it looks like there should be time for most of it, but there never is, no matter how hard I try. I can't even find the time to return phone calls. Blogging, however, I can do because I can't do much else after 10PM, except study and work on the LOT program, which I probably ought to be doing. But a girl needs to unwind a little at the end of the day!
But the reunion is the one thing coming up that I don't have to do a lot of planning and practicing for, except some quick yearbook studying to remind myself what people's names are. I know we all thought we'd be a bit further along in life after 10 years, but if everyone I've kept in touch with is feeling that way, then odds are everyone else is, too.
At 8/22/2006 11:30 PM,
DenverSop said…
Argh.... case in point.
I just got an email from my opera director adding a rehearsal two days before our show in 2 1/2 weeks. For me to attend that rehearsal means that I would make that drive up north twice in one day. Aurora to Greeley and back, teach for three hours, then Aurora to Loveland and back*. No lunch, no dinner. I've reached my limit!
I'd reschedule the students and just stay up there that day, but all the Thursday students got moved around THIS week since I have advisory exams in Greeley ALL day on Thursday - 9am-8pm. It's not fair to rearrange the same students two weeks later. No way to run a business, anyhow.
*For non-Coloradoans, Greeley and Loveland are each 75-90 minutes away from my house, in the same direction.
At 8/23/2006 12:13 PM,
Christianne said…
Wow! It sounds as though your life is simply more stressful than it's been. It's stressful to read about it! I'm proud of you for continuing to push through it as best you can. Keep God in the picture, perhaps remove a few "requirements" from your list, and you'll be ok-- maybe not perfect, but you can make it. If I were you, I would try to reschedule the students. It is important for a teacher to perform and continue to expand her education. John has to move students around for those reasons as well.
I'll be thinking of you through this rough time. :)
At 8/23/2006 3:03 PM,
Mellifluous said…
I think you have come to the convergence of a lot of hard things all at once. You are very busy, and anyone would be stressed at what you are taking on. The change of medication just means you are feeling it even more than you would have. You are a very hard-working conscientious person, so you aren't willing to do a bad job on any of it. I have to second the idea of rescheduling your students. Let them know that once things in your schedule settle in (like in the next few weeks) you will work hard not to reschedule often.
At 8/23/2006 3:13 PM,
DenverSop said…
It's actually not a question of performing or not. I am singing in this program in a trio, but that trio rehearses at other times that work better for me. It's the chorus numbers, which I performed with this same group in the spring, which are in question. For a solo or small ensemble thing, I would probably reschedule my students, but in my mind, it's not worth the hassle for the chorus numbers I've already done this year. Still we'll see - depending on how many sopranos she has, she may let me sing anyway without that rehearsal. There are two other chorus rehearsals, after all. We'll see. I've decided I'm content either way.
At 8/23/2006 3:16 PM,
DenverSop said…
Also, I played the rescheduling game for the whole month of August, and I think that instability contributes to the feeling of being stressed. A structured schedule helps me stay focussed.
At 8/23/2006 3:17 PM,
DenverSop said…
But I really appreciate the ideas and suggestions of my friends. :-)
At 8/23/2006 11:02 PM,
DenverSop said…
Update: My opera director says she would rather I still sing the chorus numbers, even if I have to miss that rehearsal. I feel better having that straightened out. Imagine how much better I'll feel by this time tomorrow when those advisory exams are behind me!
At 8/24/2006 7:42 AM,
Anonymous said…
Starting grad school is a big thing... let alone adding grad school into an already full life like you are doing. Dunno if you'll see this before your exams, but I'm praying for you this morning. Answer what you know and don't worry about the rest... that is after all what you're paying them for. :)
At 8/24/2006 8:37 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh boy, when it rains, it pours, doesn't it? I guess all I can say is try to relax when you can, and don't push yourself so hard that you make yourself sick. Btw, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one with big exams right now. Cheree is taking the next section of her boards today.
*hugs* Hang in there!
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